Parents: Fear depression, not gaming

[TheSpade]

R.I.P. Brandon Crisp​

We learned of the story of Brandon Crisp through international media outlets as well as GBATemp members alerting the community of this tragedy. A 15 year old boy was reportedly involved in a dispute with his parents over the claims that his overuse of playing the X-Box 360 game, Call of Duty 4, resulted in poor school performance and attendance along with accusations of cash thefts by the minor. He chose to run away from home, riding his bicycle away to an unknown destination. Sadly, the search was concluded, when Brandon’s body was found by hunters in a cornfield on Wednesday. There is no present information as to the cause of death. It's unknown, if he met with a fellow player or was hitchhiking or any details leading to his demise. Outside of the police investigators and the family, it's probably best to keep the details of his death out of the media's scope for the time being.

Microsoft has been active in the boy's search by offering a $50,000 reward for information leading to the boy as well as cooperating with police who sought IP addresses in order to learn the identities of those who played the video game with Brandon. The game merchant, Future Shop, canceled its Gears of War 2 launch event in Toronto and Vancouver out of respect for the Crisp family. I must say that I'm surprised by these moves. I remember the story in 2002 of Shawn Woolley, a 21 year old player of EverQuest, that committed suicide during a play session. Sony Online Entertainment refused to cooperate with his mother whom wished to learn of the details of taking his own life. She believed events in the game with other players led to his own self demise. I'm glad companies are now taking a more involved effort towards these mournful events.

Years ago, I too witnessed the impact of online gaming addiction. A former roommate of mine, a college graduate from an Ivy league school, dived deeply into it so far, he began coming in to his place of employment late or calling in sick, spending 3 day benders of online play, stacking pizza boxes up to 4 feet tall all over his room and forgoing any attempts at personal hygiene. After being fired, his mother, who was across the country, began to mail him a check to cover his share of the rent and utilities along with his internet fees and game account costs. When he was in the mood to speak with me, his entire input towards any conversation revolved completely around the game. The manner in which he spoke was startling, as he believed he was his character. The level of delusion was chilling, as I had never met anyone who believed themselves to be a person of fiction to such a stunning degree.

I had made multiple attempts at reasoning with him about his addiction along with involving the rental management company that oversaw our apartment complex to give him an ultimatum: Get help or get out. Sadly, he chose to remain at his computer playing instead of listening to the threats of eviction. We were left with no choice, so I moved out, and they evicted him. Don't think for one moment that I just kicked a guy out with nothing to fall back on. He owned a working, legal automobile. He had friends in the area. He also had an invitation to return home. While his family possessed a small fortune, he became homeless after a few days at a motel. He was eventually arrested for breaking into a computer store after hours...yes, to play the game.

While incarcerated, a jailhouse therapist recognized that he was suffering underlying issues that were never diagnosed. With this recommendation, he plead guilty by reason of insanity through a deal with the county district attorney. He was committed to a psychiatric facility. While there, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder along with other physical ailments. As I said, he was literally living off pizza, even though I cooked often and offered him some of my cuisine. He was quite malnourished and suffering vitamin deficiencies. After a full year of treatment, he was deemed fit to return to society. His first stop was to see me and to apologize for the burden he was. Of course, I accepted and wished him well. He returned to his hometown with his mother to start anew. Last I heard, he was doing quite well.

The reason I share this story with all of you, besides the obvious words of warning, is that I strongly feel that the situation surrounding Brandon Crisp is not a simple case of online gaming addiction. Even my own mother suffers from internet addiction. She too is bipolar. I'm not claiming that bipolar disorder is the sole underlying cause of internet addiction, but most cases that I have personally encountered over the years have been in relation to forms of depression. Even I myself, at one point back after graduating from high school, was so addicted to gaming, that I lost a decent job, a girlfriend and a few friends. I mistakenly curbed my depression with the grand distraction that gaming provides. I now realize and have adhered to the advice for years that gaming should never be played when one is experiencing depression. It is a genuine and serious problem. Depression must be engaged with family, friends and professionals as soon as possible.

It's easier to blame video games for society's ills. We've seen it linked to runaways, neglecting children and even murder. The games weren't the cause, not by a long shot. Gaming is just the latest media, as we've seen books, motion pictures and music blamed for casualties and fatalities for years. Why are we still forced to hear so-called experts and spokespeople blast games so readily and without full acknowledgment of the facts involved? The answer is simple. The truth is complex and ugly and sad. There were preexisting conditions, whether identified or not, in each of these cases. There's never a easy answer regarding the death of a child. It's my sincere hope to see these incidents addressed more accordingly. The game companies are beginning to come on board, so why aren't we seeing these experts act with much more composure instead of seemingly vying to have their name in some news article? Some did take the position of hypothesizing depression, but most are just readily blaming a video game or the parents without pause.

I do not believe that the parents detected their son's true issues. While I give my deepest condolences to both Mr. and Mrs. Crisp, they were ignorant to their son's possible mental afflictions. I am not saying that the blame is theirs. If Brandon's death is indeed a homicide, then someone may be held responsible soon. If they continue to solely blame video games after burying their son, then I will change my mind about them. Microsoft, Activision, Infinity Ward nor any game company killed Brandon Crisp. If anyone dares to claim anything to the contrary, then I implore you to realize that they are nothing more than an opportunistic jackass. Fortunately, Jack Thompson was disbarred.

If any parents out there truly want to take a worthy lesson from this tragedy, then please, for the sake of your children, take the following words into account: Depression harms your children more than games. Focus on the real problem.

 

[Noitora]

The story with that roommate of yours sounds really unbelievable...he was THAT addicted to that particular game that he tried to break into a computer store...

 

[Sir-Fritz]

WOW, thats sad. Good thing i get bored of games after a week so i cant really get addicted. lol

 

[Wabsta]

WOW, thats sad. Good thing i get bored of games after a week so i cant really get addicted. lol

That was exactly what I was going to say..

But damn, breaking into a computer store, to play a game...
Dude, he's got some style

 

[tyuno123]

I was once addicted to the game Maple Story which pulled my grades down but now I'm free from addiction of that game all thanks to my NDS

 

[Panzer Tacticer]

Depression is very real, I speak from first hand experience.

But while the case is sad, it's unfortunately not the game, it's the person's environment as a whole, and the person between the ears that leads to the tragedy when it happens.

I have an adult age friend that should have been married some 13-14 years now. Should have been.
Mentally though, I don't think he has progressed in basic maturity beyond 19. He has lost a wife that essentially didn't appreciate him avoiding basic responsibilities so that he could sit in front of a PC and play games. That's fine as a kid, not so fine as an adult.

Maturing past 19 usually means accepting that play time usually is at best 1 hour at the end of the day maybe, maybe some few hours on a weekend. Life sucks and the jobs sucks is common. Dealing with it decides whether you have grown up or not essentially.

Sadly that boys parents appear to have gotten a failing grade in parenting.
My son plays a great deal of World of Warcraft. But he pays for it, not me, he pays his share of the internet. His room is kept clean, his chores are done. And his marks at school are acceptable. He'd loooooove to be able to visit his internet girlfriend natually. But falling in love with a girl you can't actually meet has it's downfalls.

My son knows though, when I am unhappy with his actions, it's simple to eliminate his internet services until he shapes up.
We don't argue though, I make the rules, and they are not negotiable.
Of course he knows I have to obey my own rules too.

 

[da_head]

interesting read, well said spade

 

[playallday]

This is needs to be on the home page.

Well done TheSpade.

 

[Doomsday Forte]

Ah yes. My roommate from one year ago pretty much dropped out of school since he played WoW pretty much...always. And I mean, it got to the point where he'd sleep in until 3PM, and then stay up until 7AM when I woke up. What the hell. My roommate from last semester played WoW a lot too, but he kept on top of his priorities. He'd do basketball and Smash, so he wasn't on it all the time. And GH too, I forgot about that.

We both know people who for the most part dropped out of college due to WoW's influence--it more than others because of how so mainstream it was. My friend as far as I know never played an MMORPG before. I've tried WoW twice at the behest of my overwhelming friends, and it didn't stick. And yet I've played countless hours with Diablo II, an older but similar game. And free to play online, hyuk hyuk hyuk.

I was probably an addict back in my earlier years. My grades didn't suffer too much--I didn't come close to failing until my first semester of college, but that was for another reason. *twitch* Even now, I'm not a straight-A student and I couldn't care less, but again, for another reason that's not gaming-related. I play games as a form of entertainment, and that's it. I have fun with them. I get frustrated. Sad. Happy. Bored. Etc. It's just like if I were actually into reading, I'd be doing the same thing, just with less control. I own a good number of systems and several more games for each, and I still get more every once in a while. Am I addicted? Not really, no. The only addiction I have is probably IMing, and that's because I have no other way of talking to my scant group of friends. I have shied away from console gaming and even PC gaming because I can't see the screen so I can talk to people! XD I used to be here quite a bit and even now...

Though anymore, I've been excessively bored. Like...not even games can pull me out of this stupor.

My folks never threatened to pull my games away from me. I knew what it was I had to do, and I did that, though I gamed a lot more than kids did back then. Kids back then actually were social--I never really left the house after school, since school was my social time. I was also quite awkward too, so I never bothered. And thus gaming and I came together oh so much more during those days. I suppose piracy has been a double-edged sword to me. Sure, it exposes me to so much more at no cost, but I rarely sit down and play a game all the way through.

I think that entertainment is a good thing to have. Be it gaming, movies, or whatnot, but I think people are becoming too attached to them as of late. Like...well, like TheSpade's friend who "was" his character, some people go way too far in embracing their entertainment. It's just that gaming gets the worst damage because we can actually control what happens, as opposed to literature, movies, and music where it's the same thing every single time through.

Have we really turned into a culture where boredom is so taboo? Look at how much money the entertainment industry makes a year. I mean, some basketball stars make more money than some CEOs. And all they do is play games for our entertainment. Oh yes, you can argue that they work hard and all, but my friends play ball on their free time. Where's their check? I won't denounce that it's hard work, but I don't see the point in giving these people multi-million dollar contracts. I'd rather put that money towards, like, cancer research or finding a way to cure AIDS, but that's just me. Man, I wish I had pumped steroids to get on the football team so I could get a free ride through college! It's like they're paying me to get drunk!

This is the first year I've gone without regularly watching television, and thus far, it's going great. I don't miss any shows, and the only use my TV gets is as the gaming output thing. I wouldn't have it any other way.

It's unorganized, but whatever. I don't care, and rants usually aren't, are they?

 

[Szyslak]

Excellent post TheSpade. Thanks for giving us an example from your own experience.

I applaud you for highlighting the fact that gaming addictions that escalate to problem levels are often times a thin mask on some deeper underlying issues.

Something to be wary of for sure, and a very difficult mirror to hold up to my own issues as an adult gamer. Thought provoking for sure.

 

[DeMoN]

Post of the year award.

 

[Anakir]

Very nicely written. Good to see another perspective of this case. Glad to see there are people who can see it through a different scenario.

 

[Osaka]

I kinda hate the internet and love it at the same time. there are lots of things that I wish I could be learning, but things on the internet distract me so much...

Ill sit down and start reading about something, then within minutes find myself looking at youtube or something else...