-90% of the titles are games that have superior versions, on better platforms, for less money.
First things first, maybe not the best topic to discuss it but anyway:
7 months after launch it ain't a bad result. I suppose for more than 90% of the users it's not their only gaming system.
-It has basically no value added features.
I can play a large game like Disgaea 5 on my way to work, in my lunch brakes and at home on a larger screen. Helps me beat games faster and saves me time.
I like the motion controls with Joycons much better than with Wiilots. Very intuitive in Arms, Splatoon 2, BoTW.
-It's more expensive (without even including all the extra shit you need to buy) than hardware that is vastly superior.
Yes, because it uses proprietary cartridges. Still you wouldn't have portability without them. I get my carts used from German eBay and they drop very quickly from EUR 60 to 35-40 which is an acceptable price for a new large game for me.
-Still no way to backup or copy your save data. Just migration.
Yes, wait for next gen for that... Note how much later then the competitors Ninty introduced CD drives in their consoles and released the region lock. We can't say how much the sales were affected by that.
-It's portability is touted but it has the shittiest WiFi known to man.
-Joy-cons are the most unergonomic controller I've ever used.
-Doesn't come with a regular controller. ($70 extra)
I agree here. To lack of ergonomy - partially... The slide-ons help often. I think at least different size J-C grips should've been offered in the console bundles. Also every grip should have a USB-C charging input.
-Doesn't come with sufficient storage. The only way to increase storage is to buy MicroSD cards which are expensive relative to hard drives.
Because portability. Would you prefer proprietary Nintendo Memory Sticks like in the old Vitas? Or no SD, just different size eMMCs?
-Doesn't come with glass on the display. Gotta supply your own.
Not if you carry it in a case... Also look up how much e.g. Gorilla Glass costs...
-Doesn't come with an ethernet port. Gotta supply your own.
I think it would make Switch itself too bulky and putting it in the dock seems a bit tricky...
-No integrated online service.
True.
-Slooooooooow storage. (game cards and internal storage are even slower than MicroSD)
Internal storage is on average 5s and Micro SD 2s faster than carts. Not bad for a proprietary data storage. Consider how much slower BluRay is too... And that you would have to install disc content. Source: Eurogamer.net BoTW tests.
-Weak as balls. Only a small step up from the Wii U. It's much weaker than hardware that launched four years ago which itself was thought to be too weak for the time.
Yes, I think Nintendo lost many opportunities (and was simply stingy) by going for Tegra X1 in spite of X2. Still you have companies like Bethesda that optimizes Wolfenstein II for the Switch... Also, console market isn't necessarily about power. It's about exclusives. For instance Xbox One X avoids the RAM shortage of PS4 Pro (which is actually avoided by proper extrapolation, game optimization and patches) but I think it will not beat PS 4. Because catalogue.
-For something that is supposed to work as a portable it's not very portable.
Because it's a hybrid. It has to offer both modes in parallel. You can see it when using Remote Play from PS4 on the Vita - the colors are beautiful on OLED but text boxes are often too small (e.g. Persona 5). 6.2 Switch screen provides more details (compare Disgaea 3-4 on the Vita with 5 on the Switch).
There are some good things though:
-Plays first and second party Nintendo games
-Portable enough to take to the toilet.
You ridiculed it but these are actually system selling points... Add nostalgia as the third pillar and you have a market maker. Of course, a lot of these features should've been implemented back in the Wii U but Ninty learned it the hard way. The gaming market is not based on "hardcores" who count fps and aim for VR and 8K. It's based on casual gamers who need strong IPs and easy products that provide fun gameplay. Switch does that and is an innovative product so it sells and will keep selling for a few more years.