Stupid things people say

[BlastedGuy9905]

2 exits in a parking lot. One has a "no exit" sign. Customer is near that exit dropping off his wife to the nearby building.

Customer: Excuse me!
Me: Yes?
C: I'm trying to park, how do I get out of here?
Me: Excuse me?
C: (repeats himself)
Me (very confused): I'm sorry?
C: (repeats)
Me: If you're trying to park, why do you want to leave?
C: They told me to park down there (points to far end of lot), so I need to get out so I can get down there?
Me: What? Just go there....
C: But the sign says "not an exit.'
Me: So?!
C: So how do I get out?
Me in very annoyed tone: Turn your steering wheel, press the gas pedal, turn around, and go that direction. You don't need to leave the lot to drive in another direction.
C: OOOOOOHHHHHHH!
Me: (slowly raises gun to head)

For the record, the sign even says right on it to turn around, as if this wasn't bad enough...

...I get this shit daily. I could write a book.

dang thats amazing XD

 

[MadMageKefka]

"What time does the 3:45 ferry leave?"

...

 

[BlastedGuy9905]

"What time does the 3:45 ferry leave?"

...

oh god damnit

 

[MadMageKefka]

*Customer pulls into paved parking lot. Woods on one side, town dump on another, streets on the other 2 sides. All clearly visable.*

"Is this where I get on the boat?"

We get this one a lot.

 

[BlueFox gui]

watching sonic mania gameplay

"Studiopolis zone? this is from sonic 3 right?"

"this game is totally based in sonic 2"

"oh look, the same green hill zone from sonic 2"

 

[GhostLatte]

Spoiler: I'll go ahead and post a bunch of quotes of the various stupid individuals in my school. All these quotes are real, but the names of these people have been removed for legal concerns™

“Were the secret police really secret?”


“Did the Boston Tea Party happen at Pearl Harbor?”


“Is London in France? I wonder why my global teacher didn't sign off the paper for IB history”


"Can you walk on the sunken ship?"


"Is Steve Jobs still alive?"


"Is the Grand Canyon in Idaho?"


"Is 'A' irrational?"


"Marijuana kills you instantly."


“Isn't zoophilia when people are afraid of animals?”


"I thought it was Vangoth."


"Who were the original Jews?"


"Jesus lived in a Pentecostal society."


“Is chicken considered a meat?”


"It's June?" (Said on June 9th)

 

[BlastedGuy9905]

I asked my friend once: "Hey, wanna play some Phoenix Wright?"
And he responded with: "I don't play anime."

I was gonna faint. Thank god I had a cup of water next to me.

 

[BlastedGuy9905]

does that say enough

 

[TheDarkGreninja]

Just wasted a solid 15 minutes laughing at some of these posts.

 

[vinstage]

"So what language do you want to learn to code in?"
"Uhh, English lol"

 

[MadMageKefka]

"What's the fastest way to get to the island? The boat or the bus?"

There is no bridge to the island, in case that wasn't obvious.

 

[MadMageKefka]

Customer pulls into a dirt lot. There are a few small fishing boats in the corner, put away for the season. They have shrinkwrap on them and are up on stilts, miles and miles from water.

"Are those the boats that take us to the island?"

 

[Nyako]

my sister thought chrome included viruses because it "wasnt downloaded off the app store"

 

[BARNWEY]

my sister thought chrome included viruses because it "wasnt downloaded off the app store"

This takes the fucking cake XD

 

[BARNWEY]

Let me just post a few things I've heard people say in various places:
"Avast! Free antivirus is a virus because you downloaded it off of the internet!"
"Pizza is healthy because it has cheese and vegetables"
"Can I play Minecraft at the highest settings if I add more RAM to my computer?" - this person was running a laptop from 2003 at the time
"Malware can't infect you if you don't download anything"

A conversation I had during English for some odd reason:
Me: What's you're favorite president?
Other: Benjamin Franklin
Me: You realize he was a founding father, not a president. Right?
Other: No dude, you're wrong
Me: *looks it up on Google* I told ya
Other: Dude, I wasn't disagreeing with you
Me: -_-

Another Conversation:
Other: Dude, did you know Penguins have knees?
Me: Yes, but they don't have HUMAN knees.
Other: No, they have knees.
Me: WTF? I'm agreeing with you -_-
Other: *starts comparing them to humans*
Me: Why are you comparing penguins to humans? Our anatomy is drastically different from theirs'.....
Other: *starts complaining about how he thinks I'm stupid for "not believing that penguins have knees"*
Me: -_-

A.K.A. All of the stupid people I have to deal with in high school....

 

[MadMageKefka]

Whenever Obama goes to the Vineyard, probably 1 out of every 3 people ask me "Do you think we'll see Obama on the boat?"

...yea bitch. He also takes the Washington public busses if you wanna catch him there.

 

[The Catboy]

It's become a common practice for people to call microSD cards, "SIMS cards." I often get asked, "Do you guys sell SIMS cards? I need to move pictures off my phone." I always just feel a little of me die when I am asked that question

 

[hobbledehoy899]

It's become a common practice for people to call microSD cards, "SIMS cards." I often get asked, "Do you guys sell SIMS cards? I need to move pictures off my phone." I always just feel a little of me die when I am asked that question

Are giftcards for The Sims still a thing? If so, jape those dumb cunts with those.

 

[MadMageKefka]

Are giftcards for The Sims still a thing? If so, jape those dumb cunts with those.

I was about to say.... Lol.

 

[rileysrjay]

This isn't something someone said, but one time I got done with a science quiz about muscles in the body and went back to my table. I peeked at one of my classmates quizzes and they wrote down "liver" as one of the answers.

 

[sarkwalvein]

This isn't something someone said, but one time I got done with a science quiz about muscles in the body and went back to my table. I peeked at one of my classmates quizzes and they wrote down "liver" as one of the answers.

Well you know, many people exercise that muscle daily, some even get scars because of overtraining.